For the past month we have had spring weather here in upstate New York; upper 50’s and even near 70. Last week I mentioned needing the cabin fever to go away. My depression was at its worse and for two days I had hopes of it being gone for a while. I told you all that if the weather kept up I’d be out fishing this week. Well that did not happen! We had one of the worst blizzards I can recall yesterday. In fact the news called it a “Bombo Genesis”. (To my southern friends, I never heard that phrase either but I believe it meant bad blizzard.) We got about 30 inches of snow in less than 24 hours and now are being told that we are getting more on Saturday. I don’t think that I am wading into a trout stream this week.
Fortunately though, my depression is still under control. I feel good! Besides the blizzard, yesterday was also my 25th wedding anniversary. How my beautiful wife has stuck with me so long when I have had a roller coaster ride of PTSD and depression since before we met, I don’t know. I think she may actually be my guardian angel. Due to the storm she was home from work, so I didn’t have to face it alone. We got to spend our anniversary together in a our home with a wood stove burning at both ends keeping it toasty inside. We celebrated our anniversary Sunday because we knew the storm was coming. We brought in plenty of wood and prepare for power outages. We were ready, even if we had to use the wood stove to cook on.
I know that it is corned beef month, but we already had it twice, and we’re having it again Friday. I hope my new waders fit me when I do get out there. So yesterday knowing how cold it would be my wife planned a nice turkey dinner with all of the fixings (Thanksgiving style). I made the gravy when I came in to eat, because for some reason after cooking such a great meal she doesn’t feel confident thickening the juices. After all that, my daughter baked a hot apple pie that we covered with vanilla ice cream before it cooled. We were all safe, warm, full and most importantly together through the storm.
So yes, I literally faced a storm. With the love of my family my depression not only stayed at bay, but it was a wonderful day in spite of natures plans. I did have a nightmare last night although and woke up afraid; but it wasn’t due to my PTSD. I dreamed that my pregnant daughter as she often does, finished all of the ice cream (and yes I love it no matter how cold it is outside). So me and my dog Sadie went to the kitchen to find out it was safe and of course helped ourselves to some. Then feeling safe again I went back to bed.
They are calling for more snow on Saturday, but again my family will here with me. I know we can do it again. This time it is St. Patty’s day weekend so corned beef it will be (instead of turkey). The truth is I believe that I shouldn’t have a problem staying strong; and that is something I rarely can say.
This may not be a post on how I am healing from fly fishing, but it is a post that shows I am healing. I went from wanting to be in seclusion to wanting to be with family and friends and that is definitely improvement no matter the source. I am definitely feeling blessed right now!